"Do you think everyone has something to prove?" he asked. A question containing two indefinite nouns. Everyone — who? Something — what? Nouns forming the blurry foundations upon which the question rests. (He's always asking questions like this. Questions that don't move toward an argument derived from a few basic assumptions, but rather questions that cast doubt on those … Continue reading Solving for z
Diary entry: December 16, 2019
I am obsessed with beauty and I think this has exponentially fueled my fear of decay. I am increasingly anxious about growing old and fading into un-importance, of failing to build anything that can last. Of failing to be bigger than myself and bigger than others' perceptions of me. Of failing to leave my mark … Continue reading Diary entry: December 16, 2019
It’s going to be a long year
The past few days have really reminded me how emotional I can get about politics. For sports fans out there who not only support a certain team but have an emotional stake in that team's losses and victories; who wait with bated breath for the outcome of a game; who theorize on end about strategy … Continue reading It’s going to be a long year
Sunday leftovers
I am sitting at a coffeeshop this Sunday morning feeling utterly defeated. There is a soreness in my muscles, in my feet, which have spent a weekend holding up the weight of a limitless girl, and I am being physically crushed by the demands I've placed on my body. Right now, I am dragging my … Continue reading Sunday leftovers
‘This is Not My Happly Place’
Sticky tones offer no solace to a girl who thought she loved music. Inconvenience is the enemy of luck and so of imagined possibility, so of self. I am frustrated by eyes that sag to tell folks of my tired burdens. So I’ll glue false eyelashes to my slick skin and … Continue reading ‘This is Not My Happly Place’
Alabama, 2019
Five months far along in the full belly of May; it was a tongue-in-cheek spring, a true false spring, a spring of myth and sick jokes; they tore us out from inside of ourselves with no sense of irony, they laughed in the face of the choices we make, stealing and trading them for indignities … Continue reading Alabama, 2019
Thoughts approaching Mother’s Day
Some thoughts I had today. It often seems to me as though much of the mental and emotional labor necessary to keep any relationship or household functioning still falls upon women. This is reinforced, of course, by past reading that I’ve done but also first and secondhand experience. The work of organizing, making to-do lists, … Continue reading Thoughts approaching Mother’s Day
Stranded sandwich
I can finish this meal entire, leave you only crumbs for company. It's how I was raised. To make not find room for each deserted morsel in this whisper of a belly. To never leave a sandwich stranded, erect refugee camps in pockets of flesh. Soon I'll balloon with the weight of what this temple … Continue reading Stranded sandwich
Authenticity in relationships, and what we can do without
If there’s ever a time when an introvert is at a disadvantage being alone, it’s when she’s in an unfamiliar place. Every time I've moved to a new city and made new friends, it’s been an uphill battle for me, and I’ve always envied my more extroverted friends who are less afraid, less apologetic about … Continue reading Authenticity in relationships, and what we can do without
