This post will mostly be me just rambling, trying to get down some thoughts I've had in the past month or so. In my attempts over the last few years to gain a historical understanding of the Asian American identity, I’ve struggled to draw a line of continuity from the Asian American experiences of systems … Continue reading Asian America vs. Me
Lessons in a corner
You were silent before, lover, I muted my own self to make sense of it. Backed against the wall, I slid forth my dignity into a meat shredder Lips pressed tight all the while. It was my pleasure. By the time you turned and were your own self again I was ground up, pattied and … Continue reading Lessons in a corner
An introvert’s drug
(Note: this was written a week and a half ago, and published late, because I'm a procrastinator.) “Shrooms are an introvert’s drug,” I said on a recent psychedelic trip with my boyfriend and his roommates, the words floating out of my mouth as I watched the colors burst on the sidewalk in a dazed fascination. … Continue reading An introvert’s drug
Next to normal
An eerie peace has fallen upon the Upper Haight, and I was able to truly observe it for the first time this morning as I went out in search of a cup of coffee. It’s my first couple of days back from sheltering-in-place at my boyfriend’s house for the past four and a half weeks … Continue reading Next to normal
Journal entry: April 7, 2020
I need to write. It's been three weeks since we began sheltering in place and since then I have learned that a writer's most powerful tool is observation. Perhaps I spend too much time observing (passive) and not enough time recording (active). I definitely don't spend enough time writing. But the world has turned upside … Continue reading Journal entry: April 7, 2020
Solving for z
"Do you think everyone has something to prove?" he asked. A question containing two indefinite nouns. Everyone — who? Something — what? Nouns forming the blurry foundations upon which the question rests. (He's always asking questions like this. Questions that don't move toward an argument derived from a few basic assumptions, but rather questions that cast doubt on those … Continue reading Solving for z
Diary entry: December 16, 2019
I am obsessed with beauty and I think this has exponentially fueled my fear of decay. I am increasingly anxious about growing old and fading into un-importance, of failing to build anything that can last. Of failing to be bigger than myself and bigger than others' perceptions of me. Of failing to leave my mark … Continue reading Diary entry: December 16, 2019
It’s going to be a long year
The past few days have really reminded me how emotional I can get about politics. For sports fans out there who not only support a certain team but have an emotional stake in that team's losses and victories; who wait with bated breath for the outcome of a game; who theorize on end about strategy … Continue reading It’s going to be a long year
Sunday leftovers
I am sitting at a coffeeshop this Sunday morning feeling utterly defeated. There is a soreness in my muscles, in my feet, which have spent a weekend holding up the weight of a limitless girl, and I am being physically crushed by the demands I've placed on my body. Right now, I am dragging my … Continue reading Sunday leftovers
